Anniversary

Since it's officially the 16th now, I can say that it has been 10 years since I got my driver's license! I remember how horrible the woman was and lied to my mom when she told me that I almost hit a cop (which I didn't). She also told her that I BARELY passed. Whatever. I passed. Just give me my damn license, lady. She also told me at the beginning that she was my instructor. Not my friend. Good because you suck and I don't like you anyway, snatch.

Now, on a more serious note. While in some ways July 16th will stick out in my mind as a liberating and exciting day, it will also stick out as a day I will never forget for a much worse reason. That evening I went to work at the restaurant in Auxvasse (back then it was still Auntie M's and some of the best food I have ever eaten) and had big plans to celebrate my newly obtained driver's license that night with my friends. I very distinctly remember that we had just closed (it was a week-night so it must have been just after 8pm) and I was refilling the ketchup bottle on the table by the hallway leading to the bathrooms. I heard the bells on the door and looked up annoyed because we were closed and while I had remembered to flip the open/closed sign around, I had forgotten to lock the front door. I then remember being filled with panic because when I realized who the "customer" was, I realized that it was a friend of my dad's and he was rushing toward me. I sat the ketchup bottle down on the table as he grabbed my hand and yelled to my boss that I had to go. The next 10 minutes were an absolute blur. I remember that we rushed out of the restaurant and I kept asking him what was going on and all he would tell me was that my grandpa had been in an accident and we were going to meet my parents. When we got to my dad's parent's house there were TONS of cars and people there and I was still in a daze. I could not, for the life of me, figure out what all of these people were doing there. I rushed inside just in time to hear my grandma say the word "autopsy" and I totally lost it. Up until that moment all I knew was that Grandpa had been in an accident but I had NO IDEA that he had actually died. Turns out, Grandpa had not been feeling well for a few days but was determined that he was going to get a field of hay cut that day. So, he went out on his tractor as he did most days. Only, ten years ago was not like most days. Ten years ago he never came back. A neighbor found him lying in the field. After the word autopsy, I remember I rushed outside because I COULD NOT get enough air. Then I was on the ground. Then the dad of one of my aunt's was trying to help me up because apparently I had nearly passed out. The next few days were kind of a blur but I remember feeling totally empty and so pissed that there was no explanation. I hated the fact that my grandpa was taken from our family and we had no idea why. I do remember how un-Godly hot it was during the visitation and funeral and we had planned on having a 3 hour visitation but it ended up lasting 5ish hours because my Grandpa was the freaking shit and had tons of friends and he seriously knew EVERYBODY within a 100 mile radius of his house. There were several old people there that we let jump the enormously long line because it was 100+ degrees outside and they were determined to pay their respects but we were worried about them having a heat stroke. The day of the funeral was just as bad because we were dressed in black. In July. In Missouri. I think the funeral was sometime around 2pm which was the worst possible time of day to be outside in July in Missouri dressed in black.

So, in order to make myself feel better about today I have decided that it would be GREAT if baby G made her appearance sometime today. Or at least put me into labor today. That way, I would have two fond memories of today and one shitty one.